Rainbow EMail
by TallestCora
Summary: Aaahhh...the sweet sounds of screaming. Rainbow E-Mail! Where we torture our favorite(or LEAST favorite) characters through E-Mail! RR
1. Pink EMail

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Ball, and I don't actually think the characters are writing to you, but it sure is fun to do!  
Welcome to Rainbow E-Mail! This is where YOU send in letters to Dragon Ball characters and they write back!

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Send in letters to me, and I'll post them!

**NOTE: ALL chapters will be updated when I recieve new E-Mail. For instance, If you send me "Orange E-Mail" (Goku mail), I will update the chapter with Goku's mail, "Orange E-Mail."**

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Still confused? Wells, you can just sit right over there in the corner with Goku, put on that little cap, and just watch us!

Random Person: Hey, why does this cap say, "doo-nu-kee?  
ME: It tells everybody wha-I mean, WHO you are!  
Goku: Don't worry! I got one too!  
Random Person: Hey! Yeah! They say the same thing! I'm a Doonukee!  
ME: Yeah. Just shut-up.  
Random Person+Goku: Okay! -Sit there happily, wearing their "Dunce" caps with pride-  
ME: Now you see why they're over there.

Anyways, enjoy the E-Mailly scary-ness!

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**Pink E-Mail E-Mail to Majin Buu, the little kid one!**

Dear Buu,

Hiyas! I'm KarMeL, a Rabid, Psychotic Fan-Girl! How are you? Whatcha'Doin'? You know, you need something to do! I mean, you know, being trapped in The Void of Anime/Manga Characters Oblivion must be REALLY boring! I know what YOU need, what EVERY bored, aimless guy needs! A GIRL-FRIEND! You know, someone to hang out with, someone to play with, someone to go destroy planets and whole civilizations with! Whaddaya' say? You think you're "MAN" enough? Hah hah hahs! I bet she'll REALLY like you! There's a girl for you out there SOMEWHERE!

AAAhhhs...Young Love!  
Sincerely,

KarMeL

P.S.: You two are PERFECT for each other!  
Uuummm... I don't know anything about a girl! LA la la la la las!

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**BUU'S REPLY**

(Note: This letter was a little messed up, what with a few misspelled words and blood-stains on it. But, it wasn't really as messed up as you'd think! Pretty good grammar, pretty good spelling, and I bet a LOT less badly written as Goku's was)

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Dear scary, rabid, psychotic fan-girl KarMeL, 

Hi. Buu is very glad to get letter here in the void of anime/manga characters oblivion. Buu has been very bored here. Buu is doing pretty good, but Pilaf keeps running around and stealing Buu's snacks, Buu has to keep killing Pilaf and his assistants. But, since no one here can really stay dead, Pilaf and his assistants keep coming back to life!

Anyways, Buu isn't doing anything really right now. Buu is writing to you right now. You said Buu needs a girl-friend. EEEWWW! A Girl-friend! Buu thinks that's gross! EEEWWW! Yuck! Buu would NEVER like a girl! Like hugging and kissing? That's so gross! Buu think you been missing a few medicine pills! But, Buu also wonders if there's ACTUALLY a girl out there for Buu?

Try to get on a regular sleep schedual!  
Sincerely,

Buu


	2. Orange EMail

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Ball, and REALLY don't think the characters are writing to you, but it sure is fun to do!

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**Orange E-Mail**

Dear Goku,

I write to you to ask if you're REALLY that stupid, or if you just act that way. I hope you just act that way, 'cause if you're really that stupid, then you probably can't even read this. Next question: Do you wake up with your hair like that, if you do then I hate you more. Why would you get rid of your tail, I mean, I'd do ANYTHING to have a tail, tails are SO cool. I HATE your orange SHIRT! .You're the LAST person I even THOUGHT I'd be writing to. Mostly I just wanted to tell you how much I HATE you. Here I go, I REALLY REALLY REALLY hate you, I feel so sorry for Chi-chi having to put up with your stupid, idiotic personality, oh my Ra, I gave you so much credit as to having a personality, AAHH how could I! Well, I guess I DO have to give you credit for one thing. Eating as much as you do is the BEST, I wish I could, I LOVE eating. Mmmm..food w

Well, I guess I should let you go. Bye, you unworthy piece of...

"KAYLA!"

"Ah! Karen!"

Kayla

P.S.: Say hi to your sons for me. They're SO adorable!  
V

P.P.S.: GO TO HE..."

"KAYLA!"

"Bye!.. Penguins are cute v."

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**Goku's Reply**

Dear Kayla,

Hi! Thanks so much for writing to me! You know, when Keisei asked me to do this, and she was all snickering and giggling to herself, I thought it was a prank or something! But you really mean it! Wow! This is so great! Okay, why do you say I'm stupid? I mean, I'm not as smart as Bulma, but I don't think I'm stupid...am I? AAAHHH! Oh, no! Chi-chi! Am I that stupid!  
"Goku, stop typing what you're saying! No, you're NOT stupid!  
You're just...SPECIAL"  
Thanks, Chi-chi! You see? Chi-chi says I'm NOT stupid! Oh, and your second question, do I wake up with my hair like this? Yes. Yes, I do. I don't know how, but Chi-chi tried combing it down one time,  
and she broke several of her combs, plus it has "taken on the characteristics of dreds". That's what she said. Dunno what she means.

Why did I get my tail cut off? Well, most of the time it happened when I was asleep, but then Kami-sama told me he couldn't put the moon back together unless I got it taken off. That was because I turn into a big monkey and wreck stuff with it on. I really don't want to hurt anybody, so I don't want it back.

Sometimes I wear red. I guess everybody has different clothes they like. Gohan likes to dress up like Piccolo! Hee hee hee, that's funny! Chi-chi doesn't like it, though.

You hate me? Whaaaiiiiyyyyeee? What did I ever do to you? Did I kill someone you knew? WAAAHHH! I'm SSSOOO SORRY! I didn't mean to hurt anyone! REALLY! I'M SO SORRY! "Goku, you don't know if you did anything to make her hate you! She could just hate you for no reason"  
Oh, you mean like Keisei?  
"...Yes, like Keisei. Now, finish your letter"  
Okay! Hey, I got a question! Who's Ra? Is he someone I know? Hey! I love eating too! Especially when Chi-chi cooks a big buffet.  
"Goku, it's called a banquet. Baaanqueeet"  
It's SO good! I'll tell Gohan and Goten that another girl who hates me said hello, and to tell them they're cute!

"DAD!"

Penguins are cute! Yay! Chi-chi, now I want a penguin!

"NO!"

Aaawww, Chi-chi, come on!

"-Sighs- Goku, you'd better finish your letter."

Oh, yeah! Bye, Kayla! Thanks for writing to me!

Goku

P.S.: This letter has been edited for grammer and over-all coherence by me, Gohan, and my mom, Chi-chi.

P.P.S.: Goten thinks you sound cute, and wants your phone numbe-r-GOTEN!


	3. Green EMail

Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ, and if I did, I'd have a wife, a family, and be a smoker whose greatest work ever constantly comes back to haunt him, even though he has other great works! Anyways, I don't think the DBZ peoples are ACTUALLY writing to you, but it SURE is FUN to do!

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**NOTE: Read the NOTE in the first chapter for information on sending in E-Mails to your favorite(or LEAST favorite) characters!**

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Oh, one more thing! words encased in dashes "-" are either bleeped or represent an action! Because the STUPID Fan-fiction . net won't let me use ANY of the "shift" symbols over the numbers! It's EVILES! EVILES, I'S TELL YOUS! KILL ITS, KILL ITS, KILL ITS! THE INTERNET MUST BE PURIFIED! 

Anyways, enjoy the E-Maillys crazies-ness!

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**NOTE: I didn't like it when Akira Toriyama made Piccolo fuse with all those jerks, sos, this is dated one year after the 23 Tenkai'ichi Budoukai tournament, and he'd be about 4 solar(human) years old.**

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**Green E-Mail**

Dear Piccolo Dai Ma Ou:

Hi! You never thought someone would ever send you a letter, huh? Wells, I just wanted to make sure you didn't skip out on that deal we-er, KEISEI and you made!

Anyways, how are you doing? I know you're obviously training hard to take over the world, so I'll just waste ALL of your time! (Just kiddings!) You know, I hate Goku too, and I have thought of many INGENIOUS methods of torture for him! One of my favorites involves itching powder that comes from the Sweet Gum tree's spike-balls, but there are many others that are not mentionable considering I'm SUPPOSED to be a goody-goody-two-shoes! Anyways, what's one of your favorite INGENIOUS methods of torture for the dope? Does it involve a large pair of "lucky long-fries" and a bunch of rotting and smelling, mis-matched underwear? ("Lucky long-fries"-an old Hardee's ad ploy.)

I hope you torture Goku horrifyingly(not a strong enough word for what I'm thinking of!) until he dies!

Thanks for doing this E-Mail thing! I'll make sure Keisei gets back to you with your payment! Goku's secrets and weaknesses! Whooos!

You RULE!  
Sincerely,  
Karen

P.S.: As a Rabid, Psychotic Fan-Girl, I will dress up as you when there's any kind of celebration, Anime convention, and just plain whenever I feel like it. So don't freak out if you suddenly see a shapely, feminine, Mini-Me of yourself running around, torturing those she hates.

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**Piccolo Dai Ma Ou's reply**

NOTE: Notice the perfectly spelled letters, perfect grammar, and perfect wording. Not much better than me at hand-writing, though. Ohs, sorrys! Yous can't! Wells, this is most DEFINANTLY the BEST grammer I've had in a letter! He doesn't have a computer, though, I had to get this by hand!

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Dear Karen, 

Hi. You know, I never DID think I'd get a letter. Especially not from a fan-girl! Yes, I AM training hard to take over the world, and you and your -bleepin'- letters keep interrupting me! I swear to -HFIL-, if you interrupt me ONE more TIME, I'm going to smash your skull against a rock and scrape chalk drawings on it with your skull-bones! Not to mention that that stupid Keisei keeps coming over and interrupting me!

You were saying you had ingenious methods for torturing Goku? I'd like to hear them sometime, when you're not trying to be such a "goody-goody-two-shoes", as you so aptly put it. I think one of my favorites is the one where I bleed him to death from various holes in various parts of his body. Including causing him severely painful nerve-damage. But, I'll save that one for another time. That itching powder trick sounds good, if I wanted to immobilize him for a little while. Fighting is fighting; it's not SUPPOSED to be sportsmen-like! But, I do want to prove once and for all that I am superior, and brains is half the battle. Besides, I think he's an idiot-savant! How could he NOT know what MARRIAGE is?

Well, goodbye, I hope this satisfied your fan-girl thirst for blood. If not, I'll make sure you don't have to worry about being thirsty for a LONG time!

Sincerely,

Piccolo Dai Ma Ou

P.S.: I don't care if you run around dressed like me, but if you even come NEAR me in that outfit, you're not going to have to worry about clothes EVER AGAIN!


	4. Dark Blue EMail

Disclaimer: I do not own DB/Z, and I do not intend on buying it from its rightful creator, the one and only, mighty, practically considered God in Manga, Akira Toriyama! I don't think the characters are ACTUALLY typing to you, but it SURE is FUN to dos!

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Anyways, enjoy my Emaillys scarys-ness!

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**Dark Blue E-Mail**

Dear Vegita

You have more power then Santa Clause. And you save the day ALOT! You are my hero! I want a scooter, and a basball bat, and a 1 star dragonball, and the whole 1st season of ducktales. You rule awsomcore. Becuz you are full of great Saiyan pride.

PS: Can you blow up all the schools? I just HATE school!

Swazy

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**Bejita's reply**

Note: This letter has been edited for language.

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Dear Swazy, 

What kind of -bleepbleepingbleep- are you? Santa Clause? What's this all about? I save the day? I wasn't PLANNING on it, but it tends to happen that way. I wasn't TRYING to be anyone's hero, I just kicked butt. I'm NOT buying you anything! You're creepy! What's "Ducktales", anyway? Is it something that -bleep- Master Roshi watches? Yes, I know I am the best. You don't think I'm dumb, do you? Yes, I'll GLADLY blow up any pathetic human structures you want, especially that brain-washing building that Trunks goes to! They tried to tell him that 52 x X equalled squared! Hah hah hah! Dumb idiots!

Okay, I've kept my part of the deal, Woman, now can I stop sleeping on the couch?

Bulma: "NOT until you clean up your mess down there, Mr. Couch Potato!"

Grrr! -Bleep- woman! What ELSE am I supposed to do when there's no way to train?

Bulma: "Do WORK, of course!"

Woman, I am a PRINCE! I do NOT do menial labor!

Bulma: "Princes do WORK, not sit around on their sagging butts!"

WHY YOU-!

Bulma: "Will you just stop typing what you're saying before they think we're a REALLY crazy couple?"

ARG! You win this one, Woman, but you will NOT win the war!

Well? What are you staring at? Quit reading this already!

BADMAN,Vegeta

P.S.: Um, I was having a REALLY bad day! REALLY! -Bulma


End file.
